When parents get divorced in California, one of the biggest concerns is often child custody. While there are a variety of options available, some couples may choose to try “nesting.” Nesting is a form of shared custody where the children stay within the home, and then the parents have a rotating schedule in and out of the home. While this can seem like an ideal solution to keep a stable environment for the kids, nesting can have its downsides.
Pitfalls of nesting
One potential pitfall of nesting is the financial burden it can place on the parents. Maintaining multiple households can be costly, especially if both parents still pay for the family home. Additionally, there may be expenses associated with maintaining two separate households for the parents. This financial stress can lead to tension between the parents, negatively impacting the children.
Alternative living arrangements
Another downside of nesting as a child custody arrangement is the lack of personal space for the parents. When one parent is at the family home, the other is forced to find alternative living arrangements. This can be particularly difficult if the parents do not have a good relationship or one parent is uncomfortable in the other parent’s living space.
A third pitfall of nesting is the potential for conflict over household rules and responsibilities. For example, when both parents share the same space, there may be disagreements over how to maintain the home or parent the children. These conflicts can exacerbate the stress of the divorce and can make it difficult for the parents to work together productively.
Establishing a routine
Finally, nesting can make it difficult for children to adjust to the changes in their lives. While the children may feel more secure in the family home, they may also struggle with their parent’s constant comings and goings. The lack of consistency in their living arrangements can make it difficult for the children to establish a routine and adjust to the changes in their family dynamic.
Ideal for some, but not for all
While nesting may seem like an ideal solution for some families, it is important to consider the potential downsides. If you are considering nesting as part of your custody arrangement, carefully weigh the impact on your family. Ultimately, base the decision on what is in your children’s and your family’s best interest.