Custody matters are often among the hardest issues to address during divorce. Both parents may want to have the children live with them most of the time. If they cannot agree on terms for shared custody, then they must take the matter to family court.
Judges settling custody disputes have to follow state law. Their priority should be acting in the best interests of the children. They have to consider many factors, possibly including the wishes of the children.
Can children subject to custody orders decide which parent they live with after a divorce?
Children do not control custody orders
Family law judges look at many unique factors when deciding how to allocate parental rights and responsibilities. Frequently, they look at the pre-existing relationship the children have with the parents and also the ability of the parents to meet their needs. The preferences of the children can also influence the judge’s final custody order.
There is no specific age at which a judge must consider a child’s wishes. Instead, they decide how much weight to give the child’s wishes based on their age, maturity and reasoning. Children can request to spend more time with one parent or to make one home their primary residence, but the final decision is at the discretion of the judge in a litigated case.
Even parents who have not had a particularly positive dynamic with their children can still secure reasonable parenting time if they properly assert themselves in family court. The children generally have to follow the order established by the courts, and the other parent must make an effort to uphold the custody order as well.
Knowing how the courts respond to a child’s wishes in a contested custody case can help parents plan for court or negotiate more effectively. Children generally do not get to set their own terms for custody when their parents divorce.